Divorce

Hah! Got your attention with that title, didn't I?
We're not getting divorced. Not yet, anyway.

Phil stated the other day that he is uncomfortable with my almost daily threats to his life.
Then somehow he got his parents to agree with him, which just goes to show that they are OBLIVIOUS to my pain and suffering! Not to worry, I'll be staying with them for a couple weeks at the end of the year and then they will see. I plan on ruining each and every day with in-depth descriptions of my woes. Watch out you two.

Phil keeps reminding me that I "knew" he wanted to do something like this when I married him. He also claims that I "encouraged" him to follow his dreams, or whatever. He even had the impudence to suggest that I "wanted" this lifestyle and that I was "excited" about it.
What a turd.

And then there's JBallz. He actually expects me to pay attention to him! I am way too busy googling "ways to kill husband" and "why isn't there any information about Djibouti on the internet?" No, I do not want to read your "Barnyard Animals" book for the twentieth time today!

But, because I am a rational and completely-sane-most-of-the-time person, I will admit that I am about 70% finished with the things on my ridiculously long to-do list and I really only have a few little things to do here, another handful of things to do in Utah (mostly shopping and shipping stuff) and the rest I will outsource to Phil. So that's good, right? Plus, our sponsors have contacted us with lots of useful tips and promises to help us out and show us around when we get to post and maybe even make their kid play with ours (they are the only two little boys at post, apparently).

Somebody Phil goes to school/work with told him that right before every move he and his wife almost get divorced. This is our fourth move together if you count the original move from separate apartments into one apartment when we got married. And it's true, each and every time we have both threatened divorce (or to break off the engagement). BUT, this is kind of a HUGE move and therefore I feel completely justified in planning creative and unusual ways for Phil's demise. Divorce is so messy in the Foreign Service and wouldn't it just be easier for him to die? I think so. Plus, we have a decent amount of life insurance on him so JBallz and I would be fine for quite a while. Just sayin'.

I haven't been this annoyed with him since JBallz was a newborn and waking up all night and I would angrily throw things at Phil and yell at him because how dare he sleep through the night when I am getting up every three hours!

Alas! Unfortunately for Phil, I have decided to hang on to him for now. ONLY because he's sort of useful with paperwork and comes home and reads that damn "Barnyard Animals" book to JBallz for several hours while I hide in the bathroom and pout about nothing in particular.
He also doesn't complain about peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for dinner ("this is really great honey, thank you") and he takes care of all those yucky boy chores that I despise like dealing with shipping a car to Djibouti and dealing with our electronics situation (including procuring a free, 7 foot, 220volt, pre-lit Christmas tree so I don't get all sad when next Christmas comes around and we put up our 3 foot tree and can't really plug it in without a big fuss). And he doesn't bother me with details I don't care about (travel order drama, anyone?).
Plus, I sorta love him, I guess.

So, no divorce for us. Or untimely deaths.
You are still stuck with me, Philip. Sucks for you!