So, our car isn't here yet and when I need to get somewhere - the grocery store, the embassy, someone else's house, whatever - I am allowed to use the embassy motor pool. A very friendly driver will come pick me up and chauffeur me around. These guys are all locals, and English is their second, sometimes third, language. Also, apparently I can never remember what I've been complaining about or who I've been complaining to.
Today, when I got into the motor pool car I was blasted in the face with herb stench and sitting on the front seat next to the driver is a giant pile of leaves. I greet him, ask him how he is, we make small talk, yada, yada, yada.
Then he says to me, "I bring the penises to help you feel better."
Since I'm positive I heard him wrong, I say "I'm sorry. What was that?"
"The penises. They will make you feel better." Nope. There's nothing wrong with my hearing.
"Oh! Uh...that's very nice of you. Er...thank you." I can't remember AT ALL what I was talking to him about the last time I saw him.
"Here," he picks up one of the stink bombs next to him and hands it to me. "You chew this penis everyday and all of you inside will feel better." Penises, plants...almost the same thing.
What else could I do? I took the penis and chewed on it -and very nearly threw up in my mouth.
"You chew the penis everyday and you will be happy in Djibouti."
In case you were wondering, I am the proud owner of my very own pile o' penis.
Just to clarify: I don't think this is khat. I'm pretty sure.Mostly. Sorta. Yeah...